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elwood

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HEY!! [06 Jan 2004|12:49pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

A belated Happy 2004 to all my buds!

Sorry I've been so incommunicado lately but yeah, lol, such is the life! Talked to Hannah and she wishes everyone well. Hoping this year is everything you all want it to be and thanks for being the best bunch of friends a guy could have!

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Private entry [05 Nov 2003|03:55pm]
[ mood | loved ]


Pinch Me
Pinch Me
Cos I'm still asleep.
Please God
Tell Me
That I'm still asleep


I am ..... so incredibly, unbelievably, unexplicably happy right now.
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Calling Liv... [31 Oct 2003|07:04am]
[ mood | disappointed ]

I still haven't heard from Liv since she left Wellington. I'd wanted to give her the space she needs before trying. I was hoping she'd have called me by now, but I guess deep down inside I knew she wouldn't. So I'll try to reach her myself.

*dials her wireless number and waits.*

I hope she answers and talks to me. At least so I know she's OK.

*Voice mail picks up*

Fuck.

*sighing*

Liv? It's me. Umm... I was just calling to see if things are all right. Haven't heard from you and I'm a little bit concerned. I'm sure everything's fine but.. I'd love it if you could ring me back, OK? Just so I know everything's all right? Umm... OK, umm... I'll go. Please give me a ring? Bye, Liv.

*ending the call, I put my phone away, frowning a bit*

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Private Entry [03 Oct 2003|09:49pm]
[ mood | confused ]

We finally got Dom quieted down and able to rest. It took a while, but I can't blame him. I know how he feels. I know that pain. I just wish it wasn't so hard to try to help him. In that respect he's different from me - I'll take all the comforting I can get, usually.

Sean and I have been in bed a while, but I can't rest. Everything that happened tonight has me still upset, and my mind doesn't stop thinking things. I can't stop thinking about Dom and about me and Sean, and the way life has been these months, since really, to me, it's all kind of related anyway. So I slip out of bed somewhere around three AM and get some sheets of printer paper from Dom's desk, and start writing - thoughts, feelings, hurts - all the things that I can't talk to anyone about anymore for various reasons. I sit there for the next two hours contemplating and writing.

a letter to no oneCollapse )

When I finally do finish, I fold up the sheets, then stick them in the back pocket of my pair of jeans that I have lying out, so no one will find it. I'll burn it in the morning, or once I can get a moment alone in the bathroom with the lighter. Only once I have the letter out of sight do I then go back to lie in bed with Sean, where I watch him contently for a while before finally falling asleep again myself.

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I can't beleive this is happening now... [25 Sep 2003|06:49pm]
[ mood | scared ]

scared shitlessCollapse )

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[24 Sep 2003|11:58pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]




The storm is back tonight
So how could I
Awake without you here
Your pictures on the wall you haven't called
But I'll wait for you
To her own reflection, she says
I will hold on
To her own reflection, she says
I will be strong
the storm is letting up
But it wont die
If you weren't wrong was I
You picture still remians
But I wonder
Are you still the same
To her own reflection, she says
I will hold on
To her own reflection, she says
I will be strong
Am I losing you
Am I losing you
I'm waiting
I've waited till it's over
It's over now
I'm waiting
I've waited till it's over
It's over now (I will hold on)
I'm waiting
I've waited till it's over
It's over now (I will remain)
To her own reflection, she says
I will hold on
To her own reflection, she says
I will be strong
Io her own reflection, she says
(I'm waiting I've waited till it's over now)


private entryCollapse )
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[15 Sep 2003|11:08am]
[ mood | sick ]

Note for SeanCollapse )



Voicemail for LivCollapse )



Private EntryCollapse )



</i>[OOC – My apologies to everyone that this impacts. My muse is trying to kill himself. I had to do it. Elijah is still in the game for the moment, but he’s once more in hiding, because he doesn’t know where to turn anymore.]</i>

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Sometimes music speaks louder than words [26 Aug 2003|02:26am]
[ mood | depressed ]

How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables

I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
Dont think its too late

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when

Well I hoped that since we're here anyway
We could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up stringing
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)

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Lost. [22 Aug 2003|03:47pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

[Takes place before bed, after Lij and Liv's chat, which really occurred Tuesday afternoon, after Lij and Orli returned to Zid.]

private entryCollapse )

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On the way back to Zid... [19 Aug 2003|10:26am]
[ mood | depressed ]

A Hobbit and an Elf commiserate about love, loneliness, and acting roles at 30,000 feetCollapse )

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Just sitting at home... [30 Jul 2003|01:05pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

So, we’ve been home over a week now, and things are… weird. Sean is stressed – he’s been out most days dealing with issues with Chris and the kids, and talking to a lawyer about their separation and all that fun stuff. Then he’s had business dealings to tie up before going to London and Amsterdam for the filming. Problem is, though, that even though we’re sharing the same space right now, I hardly see him. Pretty ironic, if you ask me. Freakin’ studio apartment, and I see him long enough now for maybe a meal together, and for one or both of us to pass out watching TV in the evening or something.

*sigh*

I know this is only temporary, and it’ll eventually be over, but I miss him. I can’t stand the feeling of isolation that I get sometimes when I know he’s busy dealing with more important things – I hate interrupting him when he’s got stuff going on, so I tend to just stay quiet, and wait. I mean, what am I going to do, say “Yo, Sean… pay attention to me!”, when he’s got little girls wanting the same thing? Nope.

Speaking of the girls, too, we took them out for the day this past weekend. Had a great time, went to see Nemo, then took them to a playground to tire them out. Trouble is, we tired ourselves out as well. I guess I’m just really feeling the need to be close and cuddle… and other things too… but Sean’s just not available right now, so I’m kind of down. Isn’t anything I can do about it but wait, and I don’t mind doing it, but I still get really lonely, even though in my mind I know it can’t be helped.

I wonder what everyone else is up to right now. Might have to make some calls this week to keep myself occupied.

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*giggles* [23 Jun 2003|07:22pm]
[ mood | giddy ]


SEAN!!
(Astin, that is)

look hereCollapse )
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*deep sigh* [04 Jun 2003|04:12pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

private entryCollapse )

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The more things change, the more they stay the same... apparenly [01 Jun 2003|09:29am]
[ mood | crushed ]

private entryCollapse )

[Message left in the morning with the hotel answering service for Karl]

Hey Mate! Where are you? Or are you just not taking calls, you and Bean? *snickering into the phone* Umm... yeah, well... is there a time we can get together and talk? Iya... there've been a few things and... well, I just... I was hoping you might want to have lunch later today or something, before we all go back to the set tomorrow. Give me a call. You know the number. Later.

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At least I can apologize in my heart, and pretend that it makes a difference. [29 May 2003|10:50am]
[ mood | numb ]

Private EntryCollapse )

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Lij has a lot to think about after the wedding [13 May 2003|06:39pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

All I can say is “wow”, what a ceremony! It was fantastic – so beautiful, with Craig and Orli donned in their elven robes. And the whole scene, the entire setup was just… perfect. They really did a great job in planning a one-of-a-kind event, and I’m overjoyed to have been a part of it. It was all very fitting, considering how the group of us all came together, and everyone was really supportive and happy for the wedded couple. The reception was wonderful as well, and the weather couldn’t have been better, just making the event that much more… perfect.

Orli, Craig, love you guys! The best of everything to both of you. You seemed so happy Saturday, I only wish for you that the feeling continues forever. Thanks for letting me be a part of your special day, and I’ll see you both in time for reshoots.

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Contemplating... [05 May 2003|12:51pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

private entryCollapse )

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Arriving in Wellington [30 Apr 2003|08:07pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

Lij leaves voicemailsCollapse )

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Leaving town... [29 Apr 2003|11:37am]
[ mood | discontent ]

I’ve made all my connections, packed my shit, and my flight’s in a couple hours. The need to do this is even more urgent in me now, especially after talking to Sean this morning. My head, and my heart, are swimming, and I feel like I'm drowning.

See everyone in a week. I’m sorry.

voicemail to Dom
Hey, it’s me. Umm… I don’t know where you guys are right now but, I wanted to let you know that it’s cool for you to use the apartment. I know you still have a key. I’m not going to be around this week so, it’s all yours. Just lock everything up before you head out to Zid with the rest of the guys. I’ll be there by the time you all arrive. OK, later.

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Getting ready to leave for Wellington [28 Apr 2003|11:40pm]
[ mood | distressed ]

Last minute contacts in preparation to go.Collapse )

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